Learning to Trust Silence Again
Amara grew up in a region where conflict scattered her family across three countries. Decades later, she describes what it took to feel safe in a quiet room again.
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About the contributor
Amara now works as a community health aide and mentors newly arrived families.
What the sound of a door meant
For years, a door closing too fast could put my whole body on alert. Where I grew up, sudden sounds were rarely nothing. It took me a long time, after we were finally safe, to let my shoulders come down when I heard a normal noise.
Three countries, one family
My mother went one way, my uncle another, and I ended up somewhere else entirely for almost two years. We wrote letters when we could. I remember the specific relief of a handwriting I recognized on an envelope.
What safety actually felt like
People imagine safety as a big dramatic moment. For me it was smaller: falling asleep without checking the window twice, or laughing at something and not immediately looking around to see who heard.
What I'd tell someone still in it
You don't have to feel grateful and calm at the same time. I spent a long time thinking I had to be thankful instead of scared. You're allowed to be both.